A New Kind of Grief by Katherine Rose
Five years ago after my brother died, my home filled with more and more people until, finally, a giant circle of family and friends sat in chairs in my driveway as we wept, smoked, and drank wine, mourning the tragic loss of my brother.
This kind of collective grief is gone.
COVID-19 has not only introduced itself as a new kind of virus, but it has also introduced a new kind of grief. The social distancing guidelines mean that we cannot gather to mourn collectively. We cannot hug each other as we weep and grieve the loss of spouses, friends, parents, and children. Funerals and burials are canceled, or postponed until further notice. Grieving widows are left to mourn in isolation.
This new grieving process will affect people differently, but I imagine it will prolong the process.
* We cannot come together and say goodbyes with a funeral, memorial, or other celebration of life that provides closure for so many.
* The new guidelines and social distancing rules restrict the connection needed to help most people going through the grief process. Seeking out help from family, friends, a therapist, a life coach, or a support group has become more complex, leaving people feeling even more lonely when their lives have already been turned upside down.
* The tsunami of emotions that are certain to come in the wake of a death are even more intense given that we are all living in a time of uncertainty with a fearful emotional undercurrent.
So how do we combat this new grieving process? We take advantage of technology as best we can. While it does not replace human-to-human interaction, the same technology we previously accused of damaging true human connection will become one of our greatest allies. Phone calls, texts, emails, social media posts, and video conferencing are a poor substitute for the presence of a friend, but they will save our lives. We can weep together on Zoom, share glasses of wine while watching a movie via Netfix Party, and reach out with a text. Collectively, this is how we decide to support each other as we move into a new kind of grief.
